but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize