Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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