Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
