I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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