I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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