i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
