Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
