No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
