you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
