I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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