This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someone came in the potted fern
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
