google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
