Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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