we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize