just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
