i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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