I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize