I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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