So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
