Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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