I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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