Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
