i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
