1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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