we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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