Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize