I looked at my own cervix.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you inspire me to be a worse person
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
