You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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