We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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