Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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