So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
