I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
