my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
