You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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