You're completely useless in the revolution.
from now on my penis is your penis
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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