we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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