the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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