I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
