I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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