Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Michael Bay diarrhea
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
