he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize