yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
