he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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