i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The uberlube is also flammable
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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