I love black thongs
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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