Can i not drive my cunt home
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can't talk, ducks in the car
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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