He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
