omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
