Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
