Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize