In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
