i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize