dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
