i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
