just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize