You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
