A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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