I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
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Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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