just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I wish i was in the wii world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
