yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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